As I predicted I did know more about Namibia and Botswana than our speaker! A great deal more! She let herself down rather – especially on her wildlife which she got very mixed up over.
But I didn’t do myself any favours going as I opened up rather too many wounds! I thought I’d be OK – but all I did was find myself remembering the incredibly happy times we had together on the numerous holidays we spent in those two countries. And I don’t care what Alex says now he was happy then – really happy.
I have come home wondering “What happened to the Alex I knew then” because he is not that person now. It really is as if an alien has invaded his mind and his persona. The then person was confident and in charge of himself and a caring, loving and special human being. He isn’t that now. I just wonder what triggered all this. Perhaps ‘Midlife Crisis’ really is what’s happened.
I’ve just been reading a post from Back on my Own (I do hope she doesn’t mind me linking to her), and I’ve come to the conclusion that when these men go into destruction mode, smashing up their marriage, walking roughshod over the person they promised to stand beside through thick and thin – they also appear to lose the ability to show any emotion or offer any moments of care or normal human behaviour to that person at all. It really is true Men can’t multi-task! And in this case multi-tasking seems to include being able to cope with showing what would normally be normal behaviour to more than one person in their life at once. It is beyond them! Maybe it is the intensity of the emotion which renders them incapable. Is it guilt? But they seem to close down completely.
These men seem to forget how to be Men and become rather pathetic shadows of the person they used to be. My LC is right – what’s needed is Man School.
Anyway enough on my Theory of the Day! I need to turn my back on my 24 hours of low. Today is Saturday and the weather is somewhat grim.
I have things to resolve in my little house:
I am going to come to terms with the water softener!
I need to sort out the wireless router – as currently although now re-connected to the outside world I somehow feel my laptop should be able to connect from every room rather than only working when it’s about one foot away from the router and no further! It used to. And it clearly isn’t worth asking my IT expert Ex to come and help. I don’t come high on his lists of anything! (and I know that in a great many cases 12″ is something to be proud of – but this does NOT apply to a wireless router!)
I need to track down my post – which seems to have vanished down some Royal Mail cul-de-sac! I wouldn’t mind but I won a very small prize (£25) on the premium bonds and I feel I should have the cheque!
So a new day dawns. It is mine to use as I can to the best of my ability and not to waste. I am out to dinner tonight to my great friend and supporter and her hubby.
It is good to get out. Especially when home is a tip, covered in boxes and things all over the place. I’ve given up putting anything away as I only have 5 days to go before I move. Life is a bit of an obstacle course here now.
Alex is coming round on Thursday to sort out the PCs for me, and we STILL haven’t sorted out the bills. Who would have thought that he could walk out very nearly 2 years ago and he still can’t quite bring himself to cut those final ties. It’s been me all the way through this that’s sorted everything out. But then if you read the Mid Life club or Forty Sixty site (see under my links menu) you will see the Mid Life Crisis person engineers it that way!!
The camera club was good tonight – a competition evening. I got 19/20 for this picture (which I took in India last year) :
and 18/20 for this one of a Tiger – which was as close as it looks!