Well at last I’m beginning to see the floor! I seem to be spending all my time emptying boxes! How come it only took a few hours to get me here but seems to be taking days to unpack! And EVERYTHING has been wrapped – I’ve never seen so much wrapping paper!
I also appear to have decided that my time here will be spent in improving my mind as the books I have brought with me appear to consist of: Several Dictionaries and a Thesaurus, a mass of French text books, ASP and SQL programming manuals, a vast array of self-help books ranging from How to save Your marriage, to Moving On (How I HATE that title!) and then a stack of Bird Watching books for various countries I am unlikely to visit any time soon!!
Clearly I am going to have a great deal of fun on the reading front!!
Apart from that I had a happier day on Wednesday. I decided to take the rest of the week off. I had an enlightening Life Coaching Session which was helpful and useful and gave me some form of peace of mind.
The joys of life don’t leave me alone though as I gained a cracked windscreen and – totally unrelated – one of my headlights has gone! So I have things to keep me busy today – just in case I should get bored!
As to my Alexometer reading: It went down to about 4.5 on Wednesday morning. And after my LC session it went down to 2 -2.5 so that’s better. In fact at one moment it hit a 1.
My view on my future is changing. All I really want is to have someone to share my life with – but not necessarily Alex. In fact – to be honest – if the Alex of today is the Alex of the future and the way he wants to conduct his life and behave – I really don’t want anything to do with him. I want and need someone to laugh and have fun with, someone who will look after me and protect me. Someone to be there for me – not apologise afterwards for not being. Someone who won’t ask if I need help but will just give it because he wants to and he knows how to give. Someone who is proud of me. I know – basically – someone who loves me!! And loves me unconditionally and who just wants to do everything he can to make me happy! Seems fair to me!
I don’t want someone who is riddled with angst and indecision. Who is furtive and deceitful. Who keeps saying sorry for his failings but keeps repeating them. Who is so inward looking he’s missing the fun that life has to offer – who is failing to notice that actually “the sun is shining”. Who says he can’t ‘talk to me’. Who focuses on the problems rather than the pleasure. Who is so wrapped up in himself he can’t give me the love, attention and intimacy I want and need.
I thought men were simple creatures! Keep them fed well, and have some enjoyable sex – reasonably often – and – by and large – they would be happy!!! I appear to be wrong!!
PS – This post comes from a friend’s house!