Throwing caution to the wind!

Ah! That got your attention!

Radio 3 (our classical  radio station – courtesy of the BBC) played Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto this morning as I drove to work!  Great for jollying along the journey.

It brought back a happy memory of when I was au pairing in Paris – well to be absolutely correct I’d just been fired from my au pair job by Madame who  lost the plot one evening!  I’d been out with ‘les enfants’ during the afternoon – as usual – keeping them clear of the flat so she could entertain who ever it was that day!  We came across some other children  throwing stones – I got hit fair and square on the head by a particularly large stone and  ended up in hospital having stitches (having first returned her children to her loving care I might add!  All the while bleeding somewhat profusely over everyone!).  Anyway she fired me for not looking after the children that evening as I retreated to bed with a headache!!!  The joys of au pairing!!

Back to my story –  It was a couple of weeks or so after this.  I’d found somewhere to live and I was earning the odd few francs babysitting as I still had 8 weeks left to finish my French course!  All I had to my name was my fare home and 100 francs!  And for reasons which I can now  not explain I hadn’t told my parents!!

I queued for over 4 hours to see Artur Rubinstein play the Emperor Concerto! It was one of the last concerts he gave – he did 2 performances that day!  So basically I queued through the first one!!

I paid my last 100 francs for the privilege! And I can promise you it was worth it!!

When I finally owned up to my parents a few days later that I was somewhat destitute, they, of course, bailed me out.  My father didn’t feel I’d squandered my money at all!!!

So occasionally it’s worth “Throwing caution to the wind”  and going with the flow!  After all if one doesn’t then memories like the one I have wouldn’t exist!

Playing the notes

As Eric Morecambe said:

“I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.”

And that’s how life feels!  I think Alex and I ‘played the right notes’  most of the time throughout our marriage –  but at the end not in the right order! 

Since he left we have, quite often, been able to play the right notes in the right order – in fact do most of the time when we meet  – we appear to get on so well.

But then he goes away and he stamps on the score, muddles all the notes up, and bashes out a tune which none of us recognise!!  I certainly don’t and I don’t think he does either, neither do his friends.

And now I have to play the notes on my own there is a distinct lack of harmony, no violins, no main theme, no trumpets and only my rather bad piano playing!!!  And I hit far too many wrong notes!!

Still with practice I’m hitting less wrong notes. And maybe soon I’ll get them all in the right order and at the right tempo. Then all I need is the rest of the orchestra!

Well the odd violin would help!!

Clearly I am having a positive day!! (music added)

My positive mood is running well today!

I am in the throws of organising a dinner party – chez moi – tonight.  This is the first real dinner effort I’ve done since Alex bolted!

It’s my turn on the dinner rotation we had with 2 other couples.  Once a year we meet up and each year we move the venue round the circle.  Actually it was my turn last year but I’ve been let off for last 2 years as I was totally beyond cooking anybody anything!!

Alex and I used to refer to these evenings as “Competitive Dining!”  as that’s exactly what they are!!  Not on the menu front.  More on a ‘holding the lime-light’ front.  Each couple has one partner in it who ‘really goes’ for  “talking supremacy”  and one partner who definitely stands back and watches.

No prizes for guessing who that was between Alex and me!!  So now I don’t have to worry – I can be as outrageous as I like!!

So it will be me, C (male) and J (female) – competing!!

Actually since Alex left and I’ve been going to the LC Sessions I’ve found I can ‘people watch’ much more.  I’ve lost that need to always be in the forefront of everything.  And listening and watching can be such fun and often more amusing!!

So I’m having a fun afternoon preparing the meal and listening to my Dad’s CD of wonderful classical piano.

Chopin Waltz in A Flat
Played by my Dad!

Something has happened inside my head and if I can hang on to this change then life could just have meaning again.

Just now  – all is right with the world!!!