My life is like a Soap Opera – Part 2

Those of you who have had the tenacity to follow this blog for a while (well done you!) will know I’m currently renting a lovely little cottage in the heart of the village I’ve lived in for years whilst the house my Dad owned (and which Alex and I owned part of) has been refurbished and is now up for sale.  Once sold I will – hopefully – be in a position to buy somewhere!

Anyway here I am still minding my own business and still  being a model tenant!

The current phase of the Soap Opera kicked off last month on the day my stuff was delivered from store (worth reading this jolly little encounter!)

Whether it was this or some other incident that snowballed the current circumstances I have no idea but, currently my landlord (husband of this landlord setup) is now in prison.  Not a long stay I gather but nonetheless prison is where he is!  He’s been there since the New Year!  Reason – he has been found guilty of  breaching the court order which required him to keep a certain distance from his wife!  He also didn’t help matters by ‘going on the run’ from the Police for about a week before they finally tracked him down and in common parlance ‘banged him up’.

The stupid idiot also told their 10 yr old daughter that that’s where he was going!  Poor child – she really didn’t need to know.    She by the way – a lovely child – has just been knocked over on a road crossing (2 days ago) and now has a fractured arm. This, however, has not stopped her turning up for the pantomime we are doing so she can strut her stuff as one of the rats – albeit an injured one!!

The butcher’s shop landlord runs is currently being run by his father – who I believe is an engineer or builder or something but definitely not a butcher! And what I want to know is Who do I pay the rent to?

And one of my ideas of a permanent home is to buy this little cottage!  Well life is so interesting here.  I have no idea what’s going to happen from one day to the next!  Moving could be so dull!!

All this gives me no time to dwell!  By the way – 1st performance of the pantomime went well last night. The audience actually laughed!!!  2 more shows today!

Salt in the Wound!

I follow Stephen’s blog!

But posts like this one do rather rub salt into the wound.

Don’t get me wrong I’m really pleased for them and it’s wonderful to read how some couples ‘go the distance’ and re-discover the passion,  but I also do get a rather heavy dose of “why couldn’t we have taken that route!”  Especially when I think how Alex dithered, apologised and said all the caring things he did…….   sometimes it just is a bit of a bugger!!

It’s OK I’m not running for my Chilean Mine.  I’m sad of course but actually what I’d really  like to do right now, is to beat the living daylights out of Alex  – possibly with one of the heavier life coaching tomes I’m reading at the moment!!

In the meantime life continues to throw excitement my way.  My main PC’s harddrive died earlier this week and, naturally, I hadn’t backed up the data for a while!  The PC has been condemned by my IT  wizard at work so a new one is now winging its way towards me courtesy of my credit card!   My TV has taken a unilateral decision not to allow me to watch BBC2, insisting that BBC1 is preferable – so just changes channels every 30 seconds!

I’m off on my first NLP course this afternoon, having survived a tetchy Panto rehearsal last night where the director wound herself into a frenzy of fury at our efforts in the interminable first Act. She said she pitied the audience – well on that count I agree with her, it goes on forever!! Actually treating us as adults and discussing the issues would have been far more beneficial for everyone as we wouldn’t have ignored her and she wouldn’t have sent her blood pressure into the stratosphere!!  But hey, darlings, not so much ‘fun’!

Act 2 is better – mainly because its funnier, shorter, and, of course, us ladies all dress up as slave girls in our harem costumes  – though 2 girls insisted on wearing  vests under their costumes which gave a rather quaint and unsexy look to their midriffs!  This of course enraged the director!  It’s also slightly worrying that the Sultan’s harem  range in age from 16 to 60 but who cares!!

We also have a leading girl who is – how can I put it – in need of dieting – to the point that she looks as though the principal boy has already had his wicked way….  if you follow me!!

This Panto could be funny for all the wrong reasons!!

We’re all chums when the Mayor comes

I may have mentioned this before and if I have then sorry!  I can’t be bothered to trawl back through all my posts to find which one it might be in (possibly amongst some comments somewhere!)

Anyway, I am – for reasons that currently escape me – participating in the local production of the pantomime Dick Whittington  this year as part of the chorus.  A pantomime which has scope for plenty of double meanings – well smut really!

So being a stalwart lot we threw ourselves into the line:

We’re all chums when the Mayor comes

until that is I failed to keep a straight face and  got the giggles and it was pointed out to the director of the pantomime that perhaps this was just something she might want to change!

With a flourish she amended it to

We all cheer as dick is here

Which reduced the chorus to hysterics.

So, sadly for the residents of our village we are now singing

We all cheer as the mayor is here.

so no possibility of smut there then!!

I see my role in the chorus as one specifically designed to upstage the main characters and possibly to make them forget their lines!

My role in the harem scene is something I will leave to your imagination.  Suffice it to say I refuse to reveal my midriff – on the grounds that too many pensioners might suffer!

I really must get round to learning the words to all the songs though!!……..