Knock out the negativity

This is my challenge today from MeYouHealth Daily Challenge 
 
I rather liked this one so I thought I’d pass it on!
 
How to do it

Choose one person – it can be a friend, colleague, or family member – and limit your exposure to their negative energy today. While you may not be able to avoid them entirely, take a break from their phone calls or emails for the day if you can. If the person is someone you have to work with, don’t hang around the water cooler when they are there. If you do get stuck listening to a negative tirade, simply smile and stay detached!

Why it matters

Through a process called emotional contagion, our bodies tend to mimic those in close physical proximity. It’s believed that many facial expressions cause the release of certain hormones that can alter our mood. When you wrinkle your nose and narrow your eyes, it appears that your body releases adrenaline, which increases your heart rate. By keeping some distance between yourself and someone negative, even for a day, you have a better chance at keeping a positive mood, which is great for your physical and emotional health.

Who I chose:

Well I chose ME!  As I am often so brilliant at feeding myself negative vibes I thought I was a good candidate for giving positive ones – so my challenge today is to stay positive ALL DAY!!!

A little dose of being my own Life Coach! 

So far so good………………….!

Naming the positives

I’ve had a blip this morning – one of those moments when wishful thinking took over and dominated my mind and dragged me down for a while!

So  – in a sort of Life Coaching/Best Friend moment I decided to list all the positive things I’ve done which I wouldn’t have done had Alex and I still been poodling along in our marriage!

  • I would never have gone to India and seen tigers
  • I would never have got to know Alex’s best friend and partner as well as I have and found how truly splendid they are as a couple, as support and what fun they and their family can be
  • I would not have found what fantastic friends I have around me and what fun they are.  How great it is just to go out for the odd meal or trip to the pub and just laugh!
  • I would not have gone to Life Coaching and learned all the things I have.
  • I wouldn’t have learnt how to use my camera and to ‘enhance’ my photos! (work in progress!)
  • I wouldn’t have got involved in the campaign to save our airfield
  • I would never have written this blog and so I would have missed out on all the friends I’ve made here, and discovered the rich and diverse world of blogging, of people’s thoughts and views.  The richness of their lives and their brilliant ability to put down, with such clarity, what they’re thinking.
  • I wouldn’t have discovered I can do things in the evening and not wear myself out
  • I wouldn’t have laughed as much as I have.  I would have missed those moments of weeping giggles on Facebook chats.

I could go on!!!

So actually, in many ways, my life has been ‘richer’ than it might have been.  Perhaps I just failed to notice as my focus was on all the negatives.

I was even amused yesterday by a rather vitriolic and personal letter in our local newspaper attacking me after I wrote a few weeks ago in support of the gliding club and what it gave me as a teenager.  I am rather surprised the editor published it but hey – he’s trying to keep the subject alive I suppose!  I won’t reply.  None of us are going to. It says more about the author of the letter (who doesn’t know me!) than it does about me!!

Have a lovely day everyone.  And to those who I know are battling through the same horror as I am may your list of positives – however short or long – dominate your mind and block out all the negatives trying to take over!

My last comment on ducks (well for today!)

Actually that IS what Life Coaching is all about (well it is for me – today).  It’s shooting the ducks which are swimming towards pain and focusing on the pleasure ducks.  That way the future is fun and great and what I want mine to be.

So with that in mind I went through the final sort out of Dad’s house and the divvying up of his books, records and CDs with my 2 brothers in a spirit of pleasure rather than angst!

It went well.  I even watched with wry amusement as my older brother insisted that anything he thought  I wanted went to my younger brother!  Fascinating!  I spotted this fairly early on so promptly took a great disinterest in anything I liked – thus ensuring I got it!!  So I got all the records – which was great. And several of the more valuable books!!

I only failed on an item of furniture which I really did want (and had said so several days ago).  So, naturally,  my older brother was adamant it went to my other brother!!

Clearly he has never got over me appearing in his world when he was just over 2 years old!!

Still – today my ducks are swimming in the right direction and I am feeling positive as a result!

And it was today a year ago we had over 250 people to Dad’s funeral.  Which was a real celebration of his wonderful life (all 100 years of it). Which he lived to the full to the day he died.  So with that in mind I must focus on his mantra of “Enjoy the Journey”.  He never looked back.  So in memory of him, today, I must do my best to emulate him.

And I have found a lovely place to live.  In the middle of the village where I live at the moment, and it has a small garden and space and as it’s unfurnished I can take lots of my stuff with me which will be so much nicer.  So now I know where I am going to be for the next few months I feel at lot less stressed.

I’m not looking forward to this weekend!

So this is it in so many ways.

This weekend Alex is supposed to be coming round to clear the last of his furniture and belongings.  Then he will have no need to see me again – ever.

It feels very final.

So I’ve got rid of all my balloons – left over from my party 2 weeks ago, and hidden all evidence that I had a party at all.

Because despite of all he’s done to me  I can’t hurt him.  It’s just the way I am.  And I respect myself for being this way.

But I am totally dreading this weekend. I don’t mind seeing him – that’s OK – it’s the not seeing him again bit. This means I am not over it yet.  Which is madness.

So what positives can I think of?

  1. I won’t keep having the trauma of seeing him and wishing things were different
  2. Perhaps my brain will finally accept that this is it!
  3. I can concentrate of building a future for myself instead of restricting myself
  4. I don’t have to buy him any Christmas presents! ( I didn’t last year either)
  5. I don’t ever have to see his sister again!
  6. Or the house in Devon which I didn’t like
  7. It’s the start of a new life – where I make the rules for me and do what I want for me.  I can be who I want to be
  8. I can do what I want to do
  9. I just need to grab it!

Positives of this morning!

A  positive start to the day today!

  1. I slept until 5.45 this morning.  My new snuggly eleccy blanket kept me warm all night!
  2. I’ve decided to work from home due to the snow.  I am not going to repeat last year’s escapade when I spent 10 hours getting home on the  night of the big snow fall!

I now have to list another 8  – as I did have a negative this morning which was somewhat boring!  But hey hurdles are there to be jumped not to stop you in your tracks.  And jumping them does give one a sense of achievement!

So – as I was reminded yesterday – turn your negatives into positives!