We Won!!!

Amazing.

The power of the people!  The council listened and voted accordingly!

They’ve just thrown out the scheme! I can’t believe it!

Now I’ve got to find something new to fill my time!

I’m turning into an activist

Having never demonstrated about anything in my entire life I now seem to be coming addicted to it!

Yesterday I joined a group of protesters against the HS2 rail link.  I have to be honest here and say my motives were not only because I disagree with the destruction of green belt land.  I also wanted to see how they organised their demo and also to see if some could be persuaded to join our one against the stadium proposals next Saturday!   But I ended up getting quoted in our local paper’s on-line news!!

It’s all rather un-nerving to be at the centre to something so vital.  I just hope we get the 1000 people we want.  Clearly we are going to need them as the ‘developer’ has spent the last week producing wonderful artistic impressions of his proposed development which are very seductive.  It’s War!!   And if I have my way the side I’m on will win and our precious, active airfield will survive and not be concreted over!

We made another video the other day to show up some more of the flaws in the so called plan!

http://blog.gasp-no.org/?p=495

“Every woman wants to change her man”

“Every woman wants to change her man” – this has been said to me on far too many occasions over the last 2+ years – almost as though it was my fault he ran.

Actually I don’t want to change him.  I want Him to Want to Change Him.

I want him to find the person he wants to be.  I thought I’d married that man years ago.  Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.  I don’t know what drove him to bury the version of him I married, so deep he can no longer connect with that version of him he was in –  in relation to me.  Because that version of him was a lovely, kind human being.

I have not seen Alex for 4 months now.  What version of him he is now ‘running’ I don’t know.  All I know is the version of Alex I have been subjected to since January 2009 has not been the person I married.  He began the ‘burial’ back in September 2008 when he met the OW.  I see that now. Though I thought then it was because he’d turned 50, it wasn’t – maybe it was because he, probably, went into fear state and started to question his feelings, abilities and everything else about himself.  And having found himself wanting buried everything he could.  Including his feelings for me, our life, our marriage, our future.

So no I don’t want to change him.  He has to want to himself. Will he ever do so?  The answer remains with him.  Only he is in charge of him and how he is and what he does with his life.  He knows where and how he can get help to achieve what and who he claims he wants to be.  But maybe he doesn’t want it enough.  Maybe the pain of where he is isn’t great enough to see that change is the only option. Maybe going through the hurdles to get to the finishing post is too great a challenge.

I  hope for his sake, that one day, hopefully soon, he does see that, as I did.  It is worth it.  So I don’t wish him well for where he is now.  As by wishing him well now it’s wishing him a mediocre life – when he could have so much more.  He lost a great deal when he left me.  So for now I wish him pain as pain is there for a reason – it should be telling us to do something about healing ourselves.

In the meantime my life is my life.  I am in charge of me.  And I am changing me so I will get the life I want, need and deserve. Which will be better than the one I have right now.  Step by step I am getting there!  Despite the wobbles and crashes!!  Life is getting so much better.  I have stupendous friends and am making more.

My stadium campaigner friends are all new and I really like them.  They tease me  – mercilessly – which is brilliant!  I make them laugh  – which is fantastic.  I am returning to being me!

Keeping busy!

I’ve always known that keeping busy helps.  The less time I have to think about ‘my situation’ the better it is for me.

This week has been good so far.  Apart from being viciously busy at work (for once!) I’ve been out every night this week!  And I’m out the next two nights as well!

I’ve been on a “Save the airfield” campaign meeting this evening.  Which adjorned to the pub across the road from where I now live.  It was lovely to be asked.  Three of us ended up drinking beer and concocting schemes to bring the issues  to public attention which had us crying with laughter!  So a really enjoyable evening.

And it’s enjoyable evenings which matter and help.

Wishing and wanting and hoping for magic wands (usually wielded by the LC) don’t.

(Even if the LC seems to be able wield magic wands for others!)

What a cold day!

As predicted I did freeze.  Two hours of handing out leaflets and I was a very cold little bunny by the end.

I still am – 6 hours later!!   But all great fun.  And worthwhile too – so many of the residents hadn’t a clue what the Council is planning to do with their money and the effect it will have on the area!  A lot more know now!

It was good to have  a purpose to the day though, something to concentrate on.