How Time is to me

I visualise time.

I see the early 20th century as a place far behind me, slightly to the right and way below where I am now.  The century travels upwards along a path. Sometimes there are stairs; sometimes just a path. Events happen to the left, right and along the path.

I visualise the time before I was born as way below me. A place my parents had to climb  up from to  reach the day when I arrived.

The path isn’t straight.  It meanders over to the left and back to the right. But always behind.

My childhood is captured in my mind’s eye  by a myriad of images; some still; some moving.  My parents, my brothers, my friends, my schools, college, my first job and so on.  On upwards goes the path.  I can turn and look back and see it there behind  and below me.  I can hear my parents’ voices; my school song.  Fleeting clips which are all part of me.  I can hear my father playing the piano.

I can smell my mother’s perfume.  I can smell the smell of the burned out wreck of our house the day after it was consumed by fire in 1982.

I can feel various moments which were special.  The thrill of going solo in a glider. Moments of giggles with some member of the family…….   Lots

The change of the century triggered a flat piece of road.  How interesting!  But the road ceases to climb very steeply. More of a shallow incline, if at all.  It runs through various landscapes.  Mostly captured through the amazing holidays Alex and I had. But it definitely doesn’t climb!. It is however, filled with lots of sunshine.  And a feeling of incredible peace but also occasional insecurity.

Then came the crash and I was pitchforked into my Chilean Mine.  And yes my time path does take a run downhill.  Into the dark.  I can actually see me in the dark. Lost.  My journey out is diaried here in great detail!  All I know is that how I see it now is me moving through many dark passageways but always being led by someone in front with a candle or torch  lighting the way and guiding me away from the dead-ends towards the exit – and always climbing. Always encouraging me to climb, almost forcing me on.   Out into a certain amount of light and then a big climb to where I am now. My past catching at my heels.


I’ve no idea what triggered this post today. Something did!