Those of you who used to visit this blog on a regular basis know my story and what I went through and the help and guidance I received through my life coach – Stephen Hedger. To those who don’t – well it’s all here!! A long read but I think some of the pages and posts are helpful!
I stopped blogging on a regular basis last May (2012) as this blog had served its purpose!
However, I’ve noticed recently that a great many people end up here as they’ve used his name as a search term. To help you find out how he helped me and the input I received from him here on this blog I’ve now created a ‘Stephen Hedger’ category.
I did not tell Stephen about this site for quite a while and then only allowed him to view but not comment! It was important to me to feel I could say anything here and not feel restricted or constrained about anything. He was very supportive of what I was doing and would telephone me when he saw me taking a dip. Soon it became clear that his advice to me would also help so many others so I invited him to comment when he saw fit. The result has been so useful to so many. All the way through Stephen respected this space and commented with immense understanding.
To anyone considering seeking help from him, all I can say is I thoroughly recommend you do!
Good luck with whatever problem or issue you have
I felt it was time for a short update on my adventures over the last few years.
Sometimes it’s very useful to give oneself a ‘health check’ on goals.
Quite a few years ago I set myself some goals I wanted to achieve. The other day I re-watched a video I had done at my thank you party back in 2010 – so several years ago!
I wanted to travel
Well, I am. I’ve been to many countries since then – Ethiopia, Panama, India, South Africa, Zambia to name a few.
I wanted to own my own house
I do. Not quite the house of my dreams but I wouldn’t change if for the world. I feel safe here. I have lovely neighbours. I have a great garden
I wanted to become a better photographer
I’m having a great time working on that. I know I am improving. I have all the kit I could possibly need! I’ve been on courses and I now manage a few good photos when I am on my travels. I even give illustrated talks about my travels to local community groups.
I wanted to become a Life Coach
I am! I did a great deal of training. I threw in my safe job. I now earn more than I did when I worked full-time for someone else and I don’t work full-time! I love my job. I love helping others achieve their goals and ambitions.
So the big question?
How do I feel about my Ex? That man whose actions sent me spinning in this new direction? Well, I think I have come out of it all (whatever it all is) in a great place. I am happy being me.
I look back on it all now and see where we both went wrong – and yes, I take 100% responsibility for my behaviour in the months leading up to our split. I wasn’t in a good place either. I see that now.
I haven’t met my Mr Right yet but I know now the type of man I want to spend the rest of my life with. And if he doesn’t show up then so-be-it. I am having a great time doing my own thing.
This young man has recently featured in The Times – one of our National Newspapers. I don’t know him. I’ve never met him BUT I’m more than impressed.
He’s currently busy not dying from cancer
Puts the issues I went through and blogged about here into perspective. (Perhaps I should rename my Ex Percy PeckTive)
I’m sending John a HighFive for attitude and have donated to his cause.
Update: Sadly this man lost his battle a couple of years ago.
I see my blog continues to get a readership so I thought I’d just post a short update.
I’m now working for myself doing what I totally love. It absorbs me completely and is the best job on the planet as far as I’m concerned!! I’ve concentrated my efforts and training on helping and coaching couples with marital problems.
I think going through what I went through has helped me empathise with my clients and given me an insight which helps me do the job I do. Stephen continues to take an interest in my business and generally keeps in touch – which is lovely.
On the social front I’ve done some travelling and I’m doing more this summer and autumn.
Alex married ‘the other woman’ last summer – I always said she’d nail him!! She was determined to get him – and get a ring on her finger – so she has succeeded!! Oddly he still keeps in touch with me – once in a while!!
Anyway, life for me is good and all I need now is to find someone who will cherish and protect me and be my partner in my future. So I’ve taken the plunge again and joined yet another dating site!!
I hope all my blogland friends are thriving.
To those who have just suffered the horror of a break-up, all I can say is you can come through and there is a future which will be fulfilling.
Remember the future is a blank canvas-yours to paint, draw and create…….
In those odd moments of feeling low when a pick-me-up is what I need I watch this:
I see that despite not posting anything for about 6 months I still have a follower list!
Well just to let you know I’m still around! Work keeps me busy and I have been doing some coaching – which I find incredibly fulfilling and I appear to be able to make a difference to those I coach – and a positive difference at that, which is great.
Do I still get low days? Of course I do – I’m human!
But Goals are the answer. Even if it’s writing the Christmas cards or sorting out ‘stuff’. I’ve moved and am now in my own little house – which I own – so having all my belongings back from storage has meant a great deal of sorting out ‘stuff’!
And I did finally do the ‘shopping challenge’ set me by Stephen all that time ago! (I had to go in to a shop and ask for something they didn’t sell! – eg A bunch of flowers in a phone shop). And I didn’t giggle!!
The effect of having achieved this was interesting. Relief – that I’d finally found the courage to do it – and a feeling of achievement that I could actually do it without giving myself away. Also realising that it didn’t matter what the shop owner thought of me – possibly that I was insane – I couldn’t care – I know I’m sane and that’s all that matters!
I’ve had a few dates which have been interesting but not long lasting!
My goals for 2013 are to get more clients to coach and also to improve my social life